My sister, Dee is the goddess of love. I say this because she is the one person in my entire life that I have known not to shy away from love. She will love and love and love and then love more. Her love flows freely and it is in abundance. While most of us love less after heartbreak, she tends to love more after one. How she puts herself out there again and again is something I am yet to fully comprehend. There is an interview where the duchess of Sussex, Meghan is being interviewed and she says, “My mother has always told me that whenever my heart gets broken, it opens up to more love. My sister subscribes to this thought.” If you are loved by her, you are a very lucky human being and at no given time will you doubt her love for you.
My sister will post the people she loves on a daily basis on her whats-app status-I only post them on their birthdays. She is not afraid to tell the entire universe how important you are in her life. She will declare her love for them anytime she gets an opportunity to. She will them she loves them after every phone conversation. She will proudly tell the rest of us-her sisters- the people she loves. She talks about them a lot. And late in the night when she is wishing them good night she ensures she writes them a message saying, I love you. I once told her she is too much so now days i only get to be sent the ‘I love you’ messages once a week. I actually miss receiving the messages but I can’t tell her that.
Last year was different. And she could later tell me, for the first time she was afraid to love. She suddenly stopped posting pictures of her boyfriend. They had dated for three years. He had introduced her to his parents. I had even met him-when I meet any of my sister’s boyfriends then it is serious. She stopped talking about him. Whenever I asked what the guy had done, I was only told, “he abused me”. This year, she is back in the game and I am happy for her. We have been joking how life has been boring without her love life to follow. I know she will love this one more than she loved the previous one. That is her style. She doesn’t know any other way. I believe she will certainly find the partner her heart desires.
Do you ever wish to find real love? Get someone that you insanely love and they love you back. Someone you never stop thinking about, don’t want to spend life without. Someone who completes your world, whom you care about deeply, who makes everyday a better day, who makes you want to be a better person, whom you could be willing to compromise some of the relationship standards you have set, whom you are willing to do craziest things in the name of love, whom you can make sacrifice for. . . . . . The kind of love Meghan and Harry share-I am obsessed with their love.
I asked my friend Eyevee if she wants real love and she said, “I at times want that, that kind of love. Then I realized love like that, I may never find it. It is very rare. So I have come to terms with it. And now I just want to focus on people who I love and people who love me and that love is enough. If I find a man, good. If I don’t, also good.”
We have become so afraid to put ourselves out there and love and be loved back. And that is hindering us from enjoying this massive gift that God has blessed human kind with. We are missing out and we are carrying the same attitude in everything we engage in, like businesses. Fear eats us like cancer eats the body. But if there is a small probability of getting that love, why not take it? One in every ten couples shares this kind of love. That gives you a probability of 10% of finding real love. Looking at the fruits of real love. The fruits your children will get to enjoy, the kind of life you will live when you get that person, they far much outweigh the risks and the fear and the doubt you are feeling now.
My first heart break, I thought I wasn’t going to survive. My ex was the first thing that I thought of when I woke up so was he the last just before I slept. He was in my dreams. It was terrible and it sucked some life out of me. It was the lowest point in my life at that age. I didn’t imagine something worse than that will ever happen to me. I cursed and promised myself not to love again. For two years, I turned my back on love. And when I stopped thinking about him it came as a shock. I was surprised that he was no longer in my dreams. One day, I saw him in church – I had changed my church after the break up-and realized I don’t feel the bitterness I felt when the relationship ended. I was okay going to him and saying hello.
I have since experienced worse pains in my life than my first break up, but I have always gotten through them. There are painful experiences that take more time to heal. And I still think about these experiences once in a while especially when I am lonely, but eventually the painful period ends. They become distant memories whose pain I can live with. I believe we can get over any form of heart break, then why are we so afraid to love?
I have been listening to, Love someone by Lucas graham. It has some beautiful truths. ‘All my life I thought it’d be hard to find the one till I found you. And I find it bittersweet cause you gave me something to lose. But when you love someone, you open up your heart. When you love someone, you make room. . . . .’
Enjoy the song and find that love .